Edward's adventures in Sueland
by pheonixXxwolf
Summary: Edward and Alphonse are mysteriously dropped into the horrific land of the Marysues! will they survive? will they ever get out? follow their adventures in this story! not a parody of Alice's adventures in wonderland. only the titles are.


**What can I say? Mary-sues bug me. there's too many of 'em out there. PLEASE don't tell me my character's a mary-sue, either. Because neither Sonya nor Shada are, I mean, they might have a few mary-sue tendencies, but nothing over board. Like, they aren't perfect extremely beautiful, talented people. **

**So, yeah. This is a tribute to all the crappy mary-sues out there! For, without them, we would all have something less to laugh at! I hope you find the parody as funny as I found it fun to write. **

**Prologue- down the Mary-sue hole**

"Al! Al, where'd you go!?" Edward screamed loudly, disdain in his voice. For the last half hour, he had been searching for him, and he had absolutely no idea where Al would be at this point.

"Come on Al! where are you!?" Ed yelled once more, hoping his voice would drift far enough to be heard by his brother. Sighing, he started to walk instead of run. He figured if he didn't find Al soon, Al would eventually find him…that did little to ease his concerns.

As Edward walked down the streets of central, he looked down every alleyway in hope of seeing his brother. Perhaps he had just run after another kitten, whatever the reason he was going to have to scold him.

"Brother!" Edward heard a highly familiar voice behind him. Turning around on heel, he saw his armor-encased brother advancing (rather loudly) towards him.

"Al! finally! Where the hell were you!?" Ed asked, partially trying to conceal his relief with anger, and partially failing.

"I'm sorry big brother, I…I saw a kitten, only it ended up…not being a kitten," Al said, rubbing the back of his head apologetically

Edward laughed slightly, "well, if it wasn't a kitten, what was it? A dog?"

Al laughed nervously, then spoke, "eh…no, it wasn't a dog…it was a girl…"

At this, Ed burst out laughing, "you mistook a girl for a kitten, how the hell do you do that!?"

"well," Al started, embarrassed but ready to defend his case, "she had cat ears, paws, and a tail. I was really curious when I saw her, so I followed her for a bit. She sort of…disappeared after a while, and I can't figure out how."

"eh?" Edward asked, cocking an eyebrow to show that he was quite curious himself now, "where was she when she disappeared?"

"I'll show you big brother, come on!" Al raced towards an alleyway; Ed followed only lagging behind by a little.

"when she turned that corner," Al pointed with one of his massive hands, "she seemed to have disappeared. I looked around, but she wasn't anywhere in sight!"

Ed ran down to the corner Al had been pointing to and examined everything. There was no way the girl could've scaled any of the walls here, not even the shortest one. He put a hand to his chin, "She could've been hiding," Ed looked around at the barren alleyway. but there were no barrels, crates, garbage cans, or bags for her to hide in or behind.

"weird," Ed commented and put a hand to the wall, "very unusual. Do you think she could've performed alchemy?"

"well, I did see a pink flash…but there's no way she could've preformed it that fast! Even if she had, there would be a hole in the wall! And if she had sealed it up before leaving, I definitely would have seen her do that!" Al exclaimed

"perhaps she did a quick seal, as in the seal is just a little flimsy sheet of rock made in about 2 seconds. I think I might have done that once, but usually I make my seals more…substantial." Ed concluded and put both his hands on the wall

The air around the wall seemed to bend with it as Ed transmuted a small hole, just big enough for himself to crawl though. It went on for so long, nothing was visible but a small, pink ray of light coming from the other side

Ed squinted at the light, wondering what the hell it was. He transmuted a bigger hole again, so Al could fit through it as well as Ed. In turn, the pink light got a bit larger and brighter.

Edward crawled into the hole and motioned for Al to follow him. Al, who was currently remembering the phrase 'curiosity killed the cat', was having second thoughts about following his brother.

"Come on Al, you're not scared are you?"

"of…of course not!" Al yelled to him, obvious fear in his voice, then followed Ed through the tight tunnel

The tunnel seemed to stretch for a mile or so, and halfway through Ed started to get a bit annoyed, "what the hell!? Why is this tunnel so long!? Argh!" He yelled, frustrated but moved on, the pink light getting closer and brighter.

Finally, they made it to the end, the pink light was so bright that Ed had to shield his eyes not to be blinded. He stepped out of the tunnel and looked around. Everything was so…pink…and…girly…

Ed's eyes widened with fear as a tragic realization came over him, "Al, we need to get out of here. Now!" He turned and tried to scramble back in the tunnel, but Al grabbed his arm

"what are you talking about?" Al looked around at the bright green grass, the castles, the cities, and the beautiful sky with a rainbow in it, "this place is nice Ed!"

Ed looked back at his foolish little brother, "no, Al, this place is anything but good. It's where…it's where…_they_ reside"

Al gasped, "the homunculus!?"

Edward got a serious look on his face, "no Al, even worse than them."

Al gasped again, "the MSA!?" (Risembool rangers joke)

Edward looked down and shook his head, "wrong again…they're even worse than the MSA or homunculus combined..."

Al leaned forward to hear his brother better, a worried look on his face.

"they're going to come after us canon characters…they're…,"Ed didn't look up at Al, who had a look of confusion mixed with fear.

Then, Edward shot his hate filled glance up at Al "mary sues."

**Oooh…cliff hanger! Not really, but okay! Love it? Hate it? Think it's okay? Review now! (does anyone need me to explain the MSA joke? because I will)**


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